one of them is Eunice, a year 2 now in nutrition health and wellness. she is the.. hot-cute type i'd say. but anyway, i guess we didn't work out cuz well.. i was going on too strong for her number that time. i got her fb, added as friends, but she's ignoring me. oh well, her loss.
i talked to her on the train. the story goes like this, and it's kinda.. um.. stalkerish. i'm not proud of it.
so i just happen to be studying at T11sq, i don't usually hang out there at all, but that day i just did. then 5 oclock struck and eunice walked out of t11b. she bode her friends goodbye and walked towards the mrt station. after some 3mins or so, i was still thinking abt her, cuz i've seen her around school lately, and was one of my wushu junior's coursemate. then i told myself 'ah screw this, can't study like that. might as well get it over and done with'. so i went to the mrt station, tryna catch up with her. oh thank god the train hasn't come. so i casually followed after her into the train when it came. i was gathering my courage from dover all the way to jurong mrt station. and when we switched trains on the other platform, my body just went to talk to her. my mind went like 'wtf?! what are you doing?!'. and then somehow we managed to make casual conversation. so i made a white lie that i was going gombak to take my bike license. we bode goodbye
the other is Shi Min. she's in the same year as me, and in biomed like my sister was. she's a really, really sweet girl. before meeting her, i've seen her around sch since year 1, and i told weilun that she's 'my cat'. so everytime i saw her i'll say 'weilun! my cat! look! aww so cute!'. but then i didn't really thought of talking to her. kind of like eye-candy. i knew it was.. well, far-fetched to be in her social circle. i mean, who the hell would dare to talk to someone who u got no links with?!
anyway, we met during CLS' DnD. i thought the DnD was a total waste of my $40 as it was held in a community club. but upon reaching there, well, the place was fabulous! like 5-star hotel that kind. on the way there, i saw this pair of girls. one indian with a black dress (i think), and a little girl with a pink dress. i thought 'oh, must be to DnD too'. then i overtook them, got a glance of who they were, and took a second look after i realised who it was! so i just walked anyway, like how i normally would with the 'far-fetched' mentality. she looked wonderful.
so after the event, with 1/100 thoughts of her, i was waiting for my friend in the lobby to be done with their photo-taking so we could go back together. and there she was, she came out with her friend. she too lingered around there for her friends to be done. first it was just her and her friend, i was picking the courage to talk to her. and then a few more friends of hers came out. i was like 'oh dammit joel! there goes your chance.'. but i just stayed on for that one friend who was incessantly still taking photos. and yay! her other friends went back in and it's just her and her friend again. this time, i just went to her, tapped her on the shoulder from behind after saying 'excuse me' twice. and we talked! :D
after that, my friend whom i was waiting for came out finally and we went out of the building together. then a wild thought just appeared. picture. i mean, she was dressed elegantly and i wasn't too shabby. might as well get a momento if i don't ever get to talk to her. so we went back in with me leading the way. i asked her for a picture and she said yes! i was really happy. we then sort of got a couple shot, with my arm around her shoulder. i thanked her and left.
that was how we met. went out with her once. we're still sort of talking today.
but recently, really recent this time, we're not exactly on talking terms. seems that i was incessantly trying too hard to talk to her. and i guess one day she finally cracked. i don't blame her at all. i was more-than-a-bit emotionally attached, sticky as i call it, to her. nobody likes a sticky person. even i don't like them myself. but it's the kind of thing you don't realise you're doing until someone tells you. so right now, i'm keeping communication with her to a minimal on purpose, despite my scumbag brain keep wanting to say smth. and i guess it's gonna be quite awkward for us from now on. i even told one of my friends 'the more sticky you are to a person, the more you're gonna drive the person away.' oh the irony huh?
right now, i just feel awkward if i wanna talk to her. so many topics to avoid. doesn't seem natural. i think all i can do now is just stop talking to her until she says smth luh. back then when we first started talking, she said she just wants a platonic boy-friend. guess i Was the one until what just happened.
my friend whom i told that sticky thing to, asked me this one day 'what is it about her that makes you like her?'. it got me stumped. totally. i suppose this is just an infatuation. i wanted to get to know her better, but the chances really aren't there. we can hardly meet up, and now, we can't talk.
i need to 'forget about her and move on'. i swear, my crush for her isn't as strong as when we first met, but i kept talking. like an addiction. i guess rehab is to take it like a break-up or just another rejection which i am so accustomed to.
gosh. the only 2 girls in SP who actually got me that motivated to talk to them are.. well.. gone. i guess. i think i really need some psychiatric help. emotional attachment is something i need to get rid of. i even get attached to THINGS. dafuq?
when you've been single for 20 years of your life, you begin to suspect something's wrong with you.
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