Cut to the chase. Lately, I've been feeling of void and lost. I think i lost feelings or anything for her already. Been for a while now, but couldn't be sure. When i think of her i feel just disappointed and everything negative. Not one thing positive. In short, i feel shitty when i think of her. I don't even wanna text her or ask her out or anything anymore. Just wish all of it didn't happen. Then id still be admiring her from the distance, never knowing what she's like. Well, at least i won't be feeling like shit i think. Though I feel this big pinch of annoyance and insecurity and sadness and whatever you call it when i learn that she's having a good time with other people. Wtf is wrong with me? Now I'm glad we're not together or anything. I'm obviously not ready to be anybody's boyfriend.
Times i wish I've hit my head hard enough to forget everyone I've ever met. Then id only pay attention to people who mattered. People who mattered would be the ones who come look for me. I know who wouldn't that's for sure.
Other times i wished i had no primal urges. Like a computer. I hate this 'falling in love' concept. I'm always wasting my energy on people who end up don't matter. And id feel void and shitty when i fall out of love. Or like, for this matter.
I want back that feel-good i used to have. An amnesia is what i need
No comments:
Post a Comment